Meditate
Meditation is simply the shift away from more stressful, higher level thinking to less stressful, lower level thinking. It's a shift away from planning, processing, and problem solving; a shift away from obsessive thoughts; a shift away from activities that require new learning or intense concentration. And it's a shift toward more basic thought processes: sensation and perception, the taste and texture of food, the rhythm and sound of your own breathing, playing or listening to beautiful music, human touch, random daydreaming, praying, or just feeling God's presence.
It's your brain stem instead of your frontal lobe, serotonin instead of cortisol, parasympathetic instead of sympathetic.
The first key to proper meditation, also known as mindfulness, is to recognize that when you choose to disengage from stressful thinking, your frontal lobe is not going to like it. It's going to rebel. It will immediately start presenting to you things that it wants you to think about: that meeting you need to organize, your child's behavior that you need to worry about, the stupid thing that you said in a conversation 3 weeks ago. One by one, your brain will present to you such thoughts. And this brings us to the second key, which is to simply let them go. Refuse to engage with them. Just let them float on by, one by one, down the stream of your consciousness. Don't get frustrated when they keep coming. They will. You can't stop them from coming. It's what your frontal lobe does. However, with practice, you will find that they become less intrusive, and easier to dismiss.
Of course, there is a time and a place for higher level thinking. We all have jobs to do and problems to solve. And that brings us to the third key, which is to learn how to partition. As much as possible, separate the times during the day where you engage in higher level thinking from the times during the day when you simply let it all go. The details of how you accomplish this will depend on your stage in life and the demands that are placed on you. Regardless, the best way to train yourself is with daily, dedicated meditation sessions. Develop the discipline of meditating only 10 to 15 minutes per day, and eventually this skill will spill over to the rest of your life. You will find yourself becoming more present with loved ones. You will enjoy meals more. You will enjoy lovemaking more. You will enjoy simply watching your kids play, or going for a walk. Break free from the tyranny of your frontal lobe, and you'll feel more comfortable just being. You'll be the one person in the line at the grocery store who doesn't have to pull out their phone in order to distract themselves from their own thoughts.
Along these lines, dedicated meditation sessions serve another purpose. They are an excellent litmus test. Sometimes you will dread them. Sometimes they will make you feel uncomfortably bored. This is the surest indication of a brain that is chronically overstimulated. You have engaged in too much stressful thinking, or you have overstimulated your brain with too much screen time, or you have overstimulated your brain with too much sugar. Perhaps all three. Time to reassess your choices.
As far as the details of how to meditate, there are a bazillion books out there on the subject. The one I recommend is called Mindfulness by Mark Williams and Danny Penman. Or find a class near you if you prefer a more personal approach.
P.S. Combine your meditation session with the breathing exercises I discuss in the following chapter.